Women Take First Steps Toward Legislating Male Bodies

Michele Bachmann looks like a crazy person.
Michele Bachmann looks like a crazy person.

Washington – Former US Representative Michele Bachmann is making news from retirement by promoting a policy that marks a complete reversal of her pro-life values. She’s lobbying congress to pass a law that would outlaw vasectomies for men under 40.

“When I saw all of these Liberals complaining about ‘a roomful of men legislating a woman’s body’ I knew I had to do something,” said the 4 time congresswoman and crazy person. “Maybe it is time for women to start making decisions about men’s bodies. Who are you to say whether or not a sperm is alive? If we allow men to have vasectomies we literally kill millions of sperm.”

While Bachmann’s knowledge of what occurs during a vasectomy is questionable, her knowledge of eugenics is not.

“This is a law that would only apply to white men. We would completely outlaw the procedure for blonde haired, blue eyed men because their genes are special and can trace their origins back to Jesus,” she said, without a trace of irony. “But all the other races could have the procedure any time they like. We should probably force Mexicans and blacks to do it just so they stop reproducing. Are there more of them than us now? I know they’re getting pretty close.”

Several leaders of the black and Hispanic communities were reached for comment, but declined to take anything Bachmann said seriously.

Bachmann has also broken with the GOP over the implementation of the “Mexico City Rule” which bans government funding to groups that perform or discuss abortions abroad.

“We need to have the rest of the world getting abortions. At least all the Muslim and African countries. How else is the white man going to rise again? Abortions and terrorism are Gods way of punishing Muslims for worshiping a false god.”

It was at this point that the last reporter left the room. Seriously, I can’t deal with this crazy woman anymore.

Finally, women are trying to get even